Not as funny as people falling down but it definitely made me laugh…
Crunk Petrol
k. wood, 21
“ Me: Who is this again?
Mausef: Arctic Seamonkeys
Me: Artic…Monkeys?
Mautastic: [looks at computer] oh. yep. My favorite sister, while listening to music on my computer
Mausef: Arctic Seamonkeys
Me: Artic…Monkeys?
Mautastic: [looks at computer] oh. yep. My favorite sister, while listening to music on my computer
Sign I need to grow up:
This ad popped up and my immediate reaction was, “Hell no! I still don’t want to apologize to her.”
It makes me happy to see we're doing the same thing this afternoon...
- Lorelai: What about that running where you like run around a tree and up a hill?
- Rory: You want to run cross country?
- Lorelai: Well, not across the WHOLE country. Maybe just Michigan.
Lucy and I celebrated our move(s) on Sunday by sitting inside the gate outside my apartment, music blaring through the window, watching the street for a parking spot and drinking Miller Lights. Classy? No. Fun? Always. I hate to sound like Phy, but I miss her already.
And My Mother Gets Mad When I Tell Her The Wood Family Is Weird
- APAW: Swine flu is SARS's little fat pig of a brother. God SARS is so much more trendy and Asian. I wish I had SARS.
- KEW: Birthday present idea!
- APAW: Aw a week from today! (The only reason I saw "Aw" is because, when I saw that you commented on my status I naturally assumed that you were going to call yourself SARS and me Swine flue) If you give it to me, and you wear one of those masks so that you don't catch it from me, I'll bedazzle your mask for you.
“ …Wait, I don’t have to clarify for you that SHIRTS are not pants, do I? Is THAT where we are as a society? Because if so, then I quit Earth.
Heather of Go Fug Yourself
http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/vanessa_hudgens/
Alienating family: There’s an app for that
[This article was published in the Red Eye on Thursday but I missed it in my haste to get to the Tim Gunn interview. (Until today of course, when I went to recycle it)]
By Mark Bazer
Well, it was nice knowing my family, but now I’ve got an iPhone.
For the uninitiated, the iPhone is the cell phone + iPod + organizer + portable game console + friend when you’re at a party and no one is talking to you and you’ve already peeled off the label on your beer. Or, if you want to ruin my joy, I suppose you could call it a regular handheld with colorful buttons.
There are, though, certain things the iPhone can do I’m pretty sure most other handhelds can’t: measure your heart rate, level a picture, run out of battery power quickly.
The main things that distinguish the iPhone are the “apps.” These consist of everything imaginable—from a Major League Baseball app that allows you to listen to Nationals-Pirates games anywhere in the world to the Pandora radio app that allows you to destroy the music industry. Also: Tetris. Other phones may have these things, but they’re not called “apps,” so they’re not as good.
If any of my info here is wrong, I apologize. This world of fancy handhelds is completely new to me. Until last week, I had a basic cell phone that literally had fewer options than the toy cell phone my son had when he was a baby. Plus, you could chew on his.
But I finally broke down and bought one, figuring if I’m going to get brain cancer, I might as well do it in style. The iPhone also has solved one of my main quandaries in life. I eat a lot of meals, most of which demand to be tweeted about. The iPhone makes this possible.
Follow me on Twitter and you’re guaranteed three meals a day of delicious tweets. Breakfast: “Way, way too much cream cheese in this individual tub of Philadelphia Cream Cheese! Bring me your bagels.” Lunch: “Currently having sandwich pictured in photo.” Dinner: “Need more chips, salsa. Wish waiter were on Twitter.”
Twitter capability on my phone, incidentally, has proven a great way to show the worlds how much time I spend with my family. “With my family right now!” “My son’s trying to say something to me. Wonder what!” “Need salt passed. Wish wife were on Twitter.”
Yes, family time has taken a hit. As good as the iPhone is at being your friend or family member when they aren’t around, it’s even better at taking you away from them when they are. There is, simply, little my 3-year-old can do that my iPhone can’t. And I hate to say this in public, but the iPhone is cuter.
Clearly, this is the honeymoon period. But it’s hard to picture a day when I’ll tire of spending 99 cents at several points during each day for apps I’ll never look at again.
In fact, I’m already so attached to my iPhone that I’m working on my own app. It will have my iPhone automatically launch into the tearful E.T.-Elliot farewell scene the moment someone on the subway robs me of it.
Pure Awesome
The following is a true story:
When you buy a Snuggie, the website suggests that you may want a GeMagic (off-brand Bedazzler, as far as I can tell) for only $6.95. “Why would I want a GeMagic, Snuggie?” So that you can personalize your Snuggie and make it beautiful, of course!
Chicagoland’s Best
Peapod only sells eggs by the dozen, while I, a single eater household, prefer to buy them 6 at a time. However, in a stroke of genius, I decided to buy all 12 and hard boil half of them, which will make me more likely to eat one on the go as it will require no prep work (aside from the requisite squirt of mustard). Flash forward to today, I decide to prepare meals for the week so as to avoid writing a paper that I MUST GET DONE today. So I start to hard boil my eggs (which, embarrassingly enough, I had to look up how to do because I no longer have Chef Phy at my disposal to do it for me) and I’m all on top of my game so I even cut the egg carton in half to conserve fridge space. After a masterful cut, I’m holding the empty half, looking down at the other one full of eggs and I say to myself “Self, is there anything useful I can do with this conveniently partitioned piece of yellow styrofoam? Because it makes me sad to think of it sitting in a landfill for the rest of time.” And, after a series of craft book pages flip through my head, I decide no, I do not want to bejewel it and store my earrings in it, I need to throw it away. So I crush it (because I’m convinced that making my trash as small as possible will take up less space in a landfill and reduce my carbon footprint) and throw it in the trash can. After cleaning up after my next food endeavor (spaghetti sauce) I go to check on my eggs and realize, “Self! Know what egg cartons are useful for?! STORING THE EGGS YOU JUST HARD BOILED.” But not only have I already thrown said carton away, I smashed it. I think this is the mental version of tripping over your own feet.
